Bingo halls throughout England have banned #11 = Legs 11 and #88 = 2 fat ladies, because they are scared to be sued!!

The decision to ban ‘two fat ladies’ and ‘legs eleven’ is the brainchild of Sue Brotherwood who  is a clerk in Sudbury Town Council who made the decision when she read in a paper about bingo caller being sued.  It is very sad because it is part of the fun of bingo but unfortunately in today’s society people take it literally.
Interestingly enough, an online bingo petition was started to protest the ban and as of today, of the 3,845 voters, an overwhelming 99% have insisted that the two fat ladies and legs 11 should stay.

The History of Bingo

The earliest bingo game was not in the form we play in modern times but still had recognisable features. It was played in Italy in the early 16th Century and dates back to 1530. It was a lottery type game called Lo Giuoco del Lotto D’Italia. It is still played each Saturday by Italians as a State run lottery.
Over 200 years later, in the 1770s, the game found its way to France where the French called it Le Lotto. It was mostly played by the rich and was adapted to include tokens, playing cards as well as numbers.
The game soon reached Germany where in the 1800s the Germans used it to teach children mathematics, history and spelling.
From Germany the game reached the United States of America where it was adapted and given the name Beano. It can be traced back to being played in 1929.

Modern Bingo

The following bingo words and bingo phrases are called Bingo Lingo used by bingo callers when they call out the bingo numbers. They are harmless fun and add a laugh to the bingo night. For example it is traditional for the men to wolf whistle or clunk their drinking glasses when number 11 is called.

Bingo Numbers

Many of the bingo numbers are based on rhyming slang, whilst others are saying of what the number may look like. For example six and seven rhymes with Made In Heaven whilst eighty eight looks like two fat ladies! That may not be politically correct in modern times but is just harmless fun.

Bingo Calling

Sadly due to mordern day Political Incorrectness, bingo calling is a dying art and many bingo callers stay clear of the words and phrases used below and simply call out the numbers and rely on computer displays that display the bingo numbers for the hard of hearing or those who didn’t catch the numbers.

The traditional bingo lingo words and phrases below:

1. Kelly’s Eye
2. One Little Duck
3. Cup of Tea
4. Knock at the Door
5. Man Alive
6. Tom Mix
7. Lucky 7
8. Garden Gate
9. Doctors Orders
10. Tony’s Den
11. Legs Eleven [ banned]
12. One Dozen
13. Unlucky for Some
14]. Valentines Day
15. Young and Keen
16. Sweet Sixteen
17. Dancing Queen
18. Coming of Age
19. Goodbye-Teens
20. One Score
21. Key of the Door
22. Two Little Ducks
23. Thee and Me
24. Two Dozen
25. Duck and Dive
26. Pick and Mix
27. Gateway to Heaven
28. Over Weight
29. Rise and Shine
30. Dirty Gertie
31. Get up and Run
32. Buckle my Shoe
33. Dirty Knee
34. Ask for More
35. Jump and Jive
36. Three Dozen
37. More than Eleven
38. Christmas Cake
39. Steps
40. Naughty Forty
41. Time for Fun
42. Winnie the Pooh
43. Down on your Knees
44. Droopy Drawers
45. Halfway There
46. Up to Tricks
47. Four and Seven
48. Four Dozen
49. PC
50. Half a Century
51. Tweak of the Thumb
52. Danny La Rue
53. Stuck in the Tree
54. Clean the Floor
55. Snakes Alive
56. Was she worth it
57. Heinz Varieties
58. Make them Wait
59. Brighton Line
60. Five Dozen
61. Bakers Bun
62. Turn on the Screw
63. Tickle Me 63
64. Red Raw
65. Old Age Pension
66. Clickety Click
67. Made in Heaven
68. Saving Grace
69. Either Way Up
70. Three Score & Ten
71. Bang on the Drum
72. Six Dozen
73. Queen B
74. Candy Store
75. Strive & Strive
76. Trombones
77. Sunset Strip
78. Heavens Gate
79. One More Time
80. Eight & Blank
81. Stop & Run
82. Straight On Through
83. Time for Tea
84. Seven Dozen
85. Staying Alive
86. Between the Sticks
87. Torquay in Devon
88. Two Fat Ladies [banned]
89. Nearly There
90. Top of the Shop

Alabama

• In Jasper, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
• It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
• It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
• It is illegal to play Domino’s on Sunday.
• Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.

Alaska

• In Fairbanks, it is illegal to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
• While it is legal to shoot bears, waking sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

Arizona

• In Tucson, it is illegal for women to wear pants.
• In Globe, it is illegal to play cards in the street with a Native American.
• In Glendale, it is illegal to drive a car in reverse.
• In Nogales, it is illegal to wear suspenders.

Arkansas

• A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
• In Fayetteville, it is illegal to kill “any living creature”.
• Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-Day jail term.

California

• Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
• Women may not drive in a house coat.
• In Pacific Groove, “molesting” butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
• It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license.
• In San Francisco, it is illegal to wipe one’s car with used underwear.
• It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

Colorado

• In Logan County, it is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.

Connecticut

• It is illegal to dispose used razor blades.
• In New Britain, the speed limit for fire trucks is 25 m.p.h. even when going to a fire.
• In Hartford, it is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.

Delaware

• It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.

Florida

• If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
• In Miami, it is illegal for a man to wear any kind of strapless gown.
• Unmarried women who parachute on Sundays may be jailed.
• When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
• In Sarasota, it is illegal to sing while wearing a bathing suit.

Georgia

• While Georgia operates its own lottery, it “protects” its citizens by making it illegal to promote a private lottery.
• Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
• Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
• No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket on Sunday.

Hawaii

• It is illegal to appear in public wearing only swimming trunks.
• It is illegal to own a mongoose without a permit.

Idaho

• You may not fish on a camel’s back.

Illinois

• In Chicago, it is illegal to take a French poodle to the opera.
• According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is “American”.

Indiana

• Monkeys are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend.
• It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.

Iowa

• State law forbids any establishment from charging admission to see a one-armed piano player.
• In Fort Madison, firemen are required to practice for 15 minutes before attending a fire.

Kansas

• Prohibits shooting rabbits from a motorboat.

Kentucky

• It is illegal to remarry the same man four times.

Louisiana

• In New Orleans, fire trucks are required by law to stop at all red lights.
• It is considered “simple assault” to bite someone in New Orleans; it is “aggravated assault” if the biter has false teeth.
• It is against the law to gargle in public.
• It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

Maine

• In Waterville, it is illegal to blow one’s nose in public.

Maryland

• In Halethorpe, it is illegal to kiss for more than one second.

Massachusetts

• In Salem, even married couples are forbidden from sleeping in the nude in rented rooms.
• It is illegal to wear a goatee without a license.
• In Boston, it is illegal to take a bath unless one has been ordered by a physician to do so.
• In 1659, the state outlawed Christmas.

Michigan

• In Clawson, it is legal for a farmer to “sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.”
• A state law stipulates that a woman’s hair legally belongs to her husband.
• In Detroit, it is illegal to make love in a car unless it is parked on your property.
• You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.
• In Port Huron, the speed limit for ambulances in 20 m.p.h.
• Under state law, dentists are officially classified as “mechanics.”

Minnesota

• Women may face up to 30 days in jail if they impersonate Santa Claus.
• In Minneapolis, double-parkers can be put on a chain gang.
• Every man in Brainerd is required by law to grow a beard.
• It’s illegal to tease skunks.

Mississippi

• In Truro, a would-be groom must “prove himself manly” prior to marriage by hunting and killing either six blackbirds
or three crows

Missouri

• It is illegal to have oral sex.
• Single men between the ages of twenty-one and fifty must pay an annual tax of one dollar (enacted 1820).

Montana

• Prostitution is considered a “crime against the family”.
• It is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail.
• It is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
• It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style.
• Seven or more indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them.

Nebraska

• It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

Nevada

• It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
• It’s still “legal” to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.

New Hampshire

• You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
• It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
• Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.
• On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up

New Jersey

• Spray paint may not be sold without a posted sign warning juveliles of the penalty for creating graffiti.
• It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.
• It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

New Mexico

• It’s forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
• Hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery.

New York

• A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking “at a woman in that way.” A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a “pair of horse-blinders” wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
• It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun.
• A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
• The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

North Dakota

• Beer and pretzels can’t be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
• It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

Ohio

• It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
• It is illegal to get a fish drunk.

Pennsylvania

• A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.

Texas

• It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
• It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don’t need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
• It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
• It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.
• A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
• The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Wisconsin

• You must manually flush all urinals in a building.
• Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.

1. Swine Flu
2. Flush Toilet
3. Green Revolution
4. Minority
5. Saint
6. Politically Correct
7. Oriental
8. Founding Fathers
9. Black Sheep
10. Senior Citizen

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The Answer Is …

 
In a study released by Quality Planning, an analytics company that validates policyholder information for auto insurers, women came out on top.

The study analyzed different kinds of vehicle code violations (traffic violations) and then compared how many times men were cited versus women. The conclusion was that men break more traffic laws and drive more dangerously than women. Because they violate laws designed to make the roads safer, men cause more accidents and expensive damage.

This evening I was watching a serious program on the TV, and a small group of people were going to surprise a friend because it was his birthday.. of course the friend did not know the other people knew it was his birthday. But, the only person that got an (unpleasant) surprise was me, when suddenly the TV blurted out a 60 second long bleeeeeeep and a message saying they could not broadcast the singing of “Happy Birthday” because it was against Licensing Regulations.. WTF!!!!  this has gotta be a sick and perverted joke right?… Sorry, here is the deal

Did you know Happy Birthday is copyrighted and the copyright is currently owned and actively enforced by Time Warner?

Did you know that if you sing any copyrighted song:
…at a place open to the public
…or among a substantial number of people who are not family or friends
You are involved in a public performance of that work?

Did you know an unauthorized public performance is a form of copyright infringement?

Is Happy Birthday Really Copyrighted?

Yes.

The melody for Happy Birthday was first penned by two sisters from Kentucky, Mildred J. Hill and Patty Smith Hill. The song was called Good Morning to All, but bore the recognizable melody. The tune was first published in 1893 in the book Song Stories for the Kindergarten. The melody has since passed into the public domain, and is safe to hum in public without permission.

While it is not entirely clear who first wrote down the words for Happy Birthday, it showed up in a few places before Jessica Hill (another Hill sister) was able to demonstrate undeniable similarities between Good Morning to All and Happy Birthday and to secure the copyright to the song.

Working with the Clayton F. Summy Publishing Company, Jessica Hill published and copyrighted Happy Birthday in 1935. While the copyright should have expired in 1991, copyright has been extended repeatedly over the last quarter of the twentieth century and the copyright for Happy Birthday is now not due to expire until at least 2030.

The Clayton F. Summy Company is no longer independent, but, through a chain of purchases, the copyright for Happy Birthday To You lies securely in the hands of the Time Warner company. Happy Birthday’s copyright is licensed and enforced by ASCAP, and the simple little ditty brings in more than USD $2 million in annual royalties.

Is Singing Happy Birthday in Public Really Copyright Infringement?

Yes.

According to United States copyright law in United States Code, Title 17 §106, authors of works such as musical compositions have the exclusive right “to perform the copyrighted work publicly.” In United States Code, Title 17 §101, the law defines publicly performing a work as “to perform or display it at a place open to the public or at any place where a substantial number of persons outside of a normal circle of a family and its social acquaintances is gathered.”

This means that if you sing Happy Birthday to your family at home, you’re probably not committing copyright infringment. However, if you do it in an restaurant — and if the restaurant hasn’t already worked out a deal with ASCAP — you may be engaging in copyright infringement.

** the above was borrowed with all good intention from www.unhappybirthday.com

So, there you have it, next time you are at a birthday party, make sure you acquire the proper license before you sing Happy Birthday.

Whiter than white – A phrase used to describe someone who would never do something bad, has been banned because it is believed to be racial and infer that black is bad or criminal.

Black Day – Used to describe a time of disappointment or shame in a situation, has been dropped from publically funded agency language because it is believed to have racial undertones.

Ethnic Minority – Because in that context the word minority implies that ethnicity may be looked upon as small, unimportand or insignificant.

Gentleman’s Agreement – Because it can be construed as sexist and exclusive of women.

Black sheep of the family – Since it implies an outcast or an unappreciated person, and uses the word black in a negative way.

Master Bedroom – Because it implies subservience of women and dominance of males in relationships!

Politically Correct Terms For Males:

He does not have a beer gut; he develops a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.
He does not: Hog the blankets He is: Thermally unappreciative
He is not: Unsophisticated He is: Socially malformed
He does not: Eat like a pig He suffers from: Reverse bulimia
He is not: A sex machine He is: Romantically automated
He is not a: Male chauvinist pig He has: Swine empathy
He is not: Quiet He is a: Conversational minimalist
You do not: Undress him with your eyes You have a: Introspective pornographic moment
He is not: Afraid of commitment He is: Monogamously challenged
He does not have a: Fabulous rear end He has achieved: Buttocks perfection
He is not: Stupid He suffers from: Minimal cranial development
He does not: Get lost all the time He discovers: Alternative destinations
He is not: Balding He is in: Follicle regression
You do not: Buy him a drink You initiate an: Alcohol-For-Conversation exchange
He does not: Fart and belch He is: Gastronomically expressive
His jeans are not: Too tight He is: Anatomically under circulated
He is not a: Redneck He is a: Genetically-related American
You do not: Kiss him You become: Facially conjoined
He is not a: Cradle robber He prefers: Generationally differential relationships
He does not get: Falling down drunk He becomes: Accidentally horizontal
He does not: Act like a total jerk He develops a: Case of rectal-cranial inversion
He is not: Short He is: Anatomically compact
He does not have a: Rich daddy He is a: Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion
He does not: Constantly talk about cars He has a: Vehicular addiction
He does not have a: Hot body He is: Physically combustible